Oftentimes I would ponder how to appreciate more the things life has given me. Coming into this, flashbacks of struggles in finances, career,
sickness and death would remind me how stronger I have become. I have managed
to overcome these challenges painfully but with a glorious outcome. It's easy
for others to say that everything will turn out fine. But one would never
really understand how a mind works when hope seems vague. So, I always say
this, "If you were just in my shoes, then you will feel how my heart
breaks."
A friend once told me that maybe I wasn't praying enough that's why my predicament hasn't changed. Or maybe God is teaching us a lesson. Yes, I know God wants us to see something wonderful in the midst of pain and suffering. But, is it a sin to cry when you feel exhausted already with what you see everyday? It never stops. When he wakes up, when he eats, when he plays, when he laughs, and even when he sleeps. Should one be judged with his/her trust in God when an arduous situation is brewing continuously in one's life? Again, no one fully knows your relationship with the Almighty but only yourself and God Himself.
When I was pregnant with my firstborn, a thought about having a special kind of circumstance had crossed my mind. It did not linger long enough for me to consider that it might be a realization. When unexpected events arose in contrast to my birth preparations, all plans and dreams turned 180 degrees. The unforeseen and heartbreaking condition he has right now is becoming the confirmation of that "abrupt" thought.
Since the beginning of our ordeal with his present situation, we (as parents) have accepted the daunting task of searching for the most efficient system and the best medical care he would be needing. We haven't given up and never will.
The overflowing prayers we have received from friends and family equipped us to be more hopeful. Positivity is what we always wanted. But there would always be that thin ice, testing our faith.
Sometimes, when the ice appears that it might crack soon, we forget for a while why we are experiencing all of these. We have put up a good face of courage but we know we have to let our "hidden" emotions flow to ease the burden. My pastor friend said that it's alright to cry it out, PRAY, and sleep afterwards. Because when we wake up, an enduring peace will greet you.
When we (for a moment) forget why this was our destiny, it doesn't mean we have dropped all our weapons and raised our white flag. We forget in order to remember why it was cast upon us. It's never been easy but it isn't hard also for we are reminded of the Lord's mercy.
So, allow me to share the aches, let me forget why, I'll pick up the pieces after the tears, put them altogether and show you a glimmering HOPE.
A friend once told me that maybe I wasn't praying enough that's why my predicament hasn't changed. Or maybe God is teaching us a lesson. Yes, I know God wants us to see something wonderful in the midst of pain and suffering. But, is it a sin to cry when you feel exhausted already with what you see everyday? It never stops. When he wakes up, when he eats, when he plays, when he laughs, and even when he sleeps. Should one be judged with his/her trust in God when an arduous situation is brewing continuously in one's life? Again, no one fully knows your relationship with the Almighty but only yourself and God Himself.
When I was pregnant with my firstborn, a thought about having a special kind of circumstance had crossed my mind. It did not linger long enough for me to consider that it might be a realization. When unexpected events arose in contrast to my birth preparations, all plans and dreams turned 180 degrees. The unforeseen and heartbreaking condition he has right now is becoming the confirmation of that "abrupt" thought.
Since the beginning of our ordeal with his present situation, we (as parents) have accepted the daunting task of searching for the most efficient system and the best medical care he would be needing. We haven't given up and never will.
The overflowing prayers we have received from friends and family equipped us to be more hopeful. Positivity is what we always wanted. But there would always be that thin ice, testing our faith.
Sometimes, when the ice appears that it might crack soon, we forget for a while why we are experiencing all of these. We have put up a good face of courage but we know we have to let our "hidden" emotions flow to ease the burden. My pastor friend said that it's alright to cry it out, PRAY, and sleep afterwards. Because when we wake up, an enduring peace will greet you.
When we (for a moment) forget why this was our destiny, it doesn't mean we have dropped all our weapons and raised our white flag. We forget in order to remember why it was cast upon us. It's never been easy but it isn't hard also for we are reminded of the Lord's mercy.
So, allow me to share the aches, let me forget why, I'll pick up the pieces after the tears, put them altogether and show you a glimmering HOPE.
